Bullying Suicides MUST End

A few days before 2012 began, yet one more teen took her life as a result of bullying. So incredibly heartbreaking!

Fifteen year-old Amanda Diane Cummings of Staten Island, NY ran in front of a bus so her torment would end. It’s so sad that she didn’t know that there was help out there. Whether she came to us at STOMP Out Bullying or sought help elsewhere, we could have helped. We would have let her know that know matter how bad bullying is – NOTHING is that bad that you need to end it. We would have gotten her the appropriate help.

Our hearts break for her and for her family!

VICTIMS – Don’t even think about this! Don’t let someone’s foolish and cruel words and actions take away your dreams, aspirations and future. Don’t let the bullies take you away from your family who loves you! There is help. Please — Please just reach out and ask! “if no one listens — keep telling someone — keep asking for help until someone does hear you and help you! STOMP Out Bullying and many other organizations are out there for you. All you have to do is contact one of us.

Look at all of the celebrities who have been bullied. If they had given up and taken their lives, you wouldn’t even know about them today. And they showed their bullies!! Now who are the winners?

BULLIES – PAY ATTENTION because this is the damage you are doing. Do you really want someone’s death on your hands? It’s time for all of you to seek help! If you don’t know where to get help we’ll refer you to the appropriate provider – but your behaviors have to change – NOW!!

We all have to do our part! NO ONE should ever be bullied for any reason! NO MATTER™ if you’re short, tall, gay, straight, overweight, look different, act different, have different sexual preferences or beliefs — we’re ALL the SAME. We’re ALL people! NO MATTER™!

Thousands across the globe went BLUE on October 3rd making it the day that bullying and cyberbullying prevention were heard around the world.

There’s still a lot of work to do! Let’s raise awareness together — for everyone — NO MATTER™ what our differences are!

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Spread the word! Let’s all STOMP Out Bullying™ together across the globe … NO MATTER™!

Jamey Rodemeyer – We Lost You Too Soon

Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old high school freshman who was bullied because of his sexuality, took his own life this week – ironically while we were at the Bullying Summit in D.C.

Jamey who was a target of bullies, both online and at school was found dead outside his Buffalo area home. He had family and friends who supported him, and was seeing a therapist and social worker.

“The bullies now are still walking around. They get to wake up tomorrow and go to school and see all their friends, but my son will not be given a second chance no matter how much I have prayed,” Jamey’s mother Tracy told News sources

His father Tim said, “They have to somehow get the power away from the bully, and I don’t know how you do that, and that’s the biggest question in my mind.”

Jamey’s suicide is tragic. I know that I can speak for all of our bullying prevention partners, supporters and friends who join us in sending Jamey’s family our prayers and thoughts.

While some may say that Jamey took his life, it is the ongoing and unjust homophobia that murdered him.

It was the fear of the adults who passed the fear of being “gay” on to their children who caused Jamey’s death.

On Sept. 8th Jamey posted lyrics to a song by Hollywood Undead that included the line, “I just wanna say good bye, disappear with no one knowing. … I don’t wanna live this lie, smiling to the world unknowing.”

He then posted a lyric from Lady Gaga’s song “The Queen” on his Facebook page: “Don’t forget me when I come crying to heaven’s door.”

His final message appeared on his Tumblr blog expressing a desire to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, according to the local newspaper.

It is a challenging time for our youth who expose themselves to digital harassment by posting on social media sites. Yet it is their way of crying out for help … wanting to be heard, wanting to be understood and most of all  – wanting to be accepted.

Some have asked how Jamey took his life. That is not important and we are pleased to see that the media is not reporting this, as it sets the risk for contagion behavior. What is important is that no matter what Jamey’s sexual preferences were, he should never have been bullied – he should be here today.

Here at STOMP Out Bullying™ we believe: NO MATTER™ who you are, what you look like, your sexual preferences, your beliefs, we are ALL the same, we are ALL people, NO MATTER™! That means no one should ever be bullied in any way — NO MATTER™!

For those who are being bullied in person or online or who are at-risk for suicide, please contact our HelpChat Line at www.stompoutbullying.org.
If you or someone you know is in crisis please call 911 or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

There is help and believe it or not – there is hope!

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
STOMP Out Bullying™

                                                                                                     

CUSTOMINK AND STOMP OUT BULLYING ENCOURAGE STUDENTS TO  “BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER”

For some students going back to school means the excitement of new classes, new teachers and new friends; but for other students back-to-school means increased anxiety, depression and fear due to bullying.  In fact, between 20 and 30% of school-aged kids in the United States have been bullied.  This year, STOMP Out Bullying™ has a new partner in its effort to stop bullying.

CustomInk, an innovative website that allows people to design their own professionally screen printed t-shirts and products, will work with our organization during the back-to-school season to launch the “Be Good to Each Other” campaign.  The campaign encourages students and others to take a stand against bullying by designing and wearing their own custom anti-bullying t-shirts.  All profits from those t-shirt sales on CustomInk.com will benefit STOMP Out Bullying™. 

 “CustomInk lives by the Golden Rule. It’s how we treat our customers and our colleagues; and we promote the value of being good to each other in the community at large,” commented CustomInk CEO Marc Katz.  “We believe in the power of t-shirts to unite people, and hope that by encouraging kids to take a stand for kindness and tolerance, we can help make a difference in preventing bullying.”

Students can either wear STOMP Out Bullying’s “Limited Edition” blue shirt designed by Avrett Free Ginsberg and produced and sponsored by CustomInk, or can create their anti-bullying message on a blue shirt at CustomInk to wear on Monday, October 3, 2011 which is the Third Annual blue shirt day™ – world day of bullying prevention.  Other custom shirts can be worn throughout the month of October to support National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. 

CustomInk will feature an online gallery of anti-bullying tees designed through the “Be Good To Each Other” campaign on a special landing page on the CustomInk website www.customink.com/stopbullying so that students around the country can see what their peers have to say and how they’ve expressed themselves.  A number of young celebrities are lending their voice to support the cause by designing shirts with an anti-bullying message.

For more information, to view the celebrity and student designed shirts or to design your own custom anti-bullying t-shirt, please visit www.customink.com/stopbullying.

October is National Bullying Awareness Month and to signify its importance, STOMP Out Bullying™ created BLUE SHIRT DAY™ – WORLD DAY OF BULLYING PREVENTION.

Please join us for the Third Annual BLUE SHIRT DAY™ – WORLD DAY OF BULLYING PREVENTION and GO BLUE!!!

Whether you wear our “Limited Edition” Shirt or your own it’s time to GO BLUE and make October 3rd the day that bullying prevention is heard around the world, by wearing a blue shirt in solidarity to STOMP Out Bullying!

Read more about the day here

SEE OUR VIDEO: ”Join STOMP Out Bullying™ for BLUE SHIRT DAY™ – WORLD DAY OF BULLYING PREVENTION on 10-3-11″  created and donated by Avrett Free Ginsberg, Curious Pictures, the WINTERPILLS, Tylie Jones and many others, including all of the national TV and Cable networks where you will see this PSA air. This shirt is sponsored by CustomInk.  A huge thanks to everyone involved for helping to make this day possible!

GO BLUE on 10-3-11

“Dear Bully” in Better Homes and Gardens

FIGHT BACK WITH WORDS

Remind youngsters heading back to school that getting picked on is tough– but that words can also heal as much as they can hurt, as one anthology proves. Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories (Harper Collins; $18) compiles essays from popular young adult authors like R.L. Stine, Heather Brewer, Mo Willems, Ellen Hopkins, Cecil Castellucci, Eric Luper, Carolyn Mackler, and Alyson Noel, all of whom have come out against bullying. Inspired by last year’s intense media coverage of bully-prompted suicides, the project will donate a portion of the book’s proceeds to the organization STOMP Out Bullying (stompoutbullying.org). Learn more at dearbully.com.

NY Times Reviews “Dear Bully”

New York Times Children’s Books
Bookshelf: Back to School 
By PAMELA PAUL
Published: August 19, 2011

DEAR BULLY
Seventy Authors Tell Their Stories.
Edited by Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones
370 pp. HarperTeen/HarperCollins. $9.99. (Young adult; ages 13 and up)

With contributions from popular Y.A. novelists like Alyson Noël, Lisa Yee and Melissa Walker, and from writers that teenagers will remember fondly as part of their earlier years (Jon Scieszka, Mo Willems, R. L. Stine), this anthology of personal essays provides empathetic and heartfelt stories from each corner of the schoolyard: the bullied, the bystander and the bully himself are all represented. Their words will be a welcome palliative or a wise pre-emptive defense against the trials of adolescent social dynamics.

i won’t photograph ugly people

 By Photographer Jen McKen  http://jenmckenphoto.com
Indiana County, PA

I wrote a blog a month or two ago that talked about all the things I learned about being a “self employeed” business owner. I was only roughly a few weeks into it when I posted the blog but I wrote about the Random Realities of Being Self Employed.  It was more tongue in cheek really, I mean I talked about such things like how your boss is awesome (which is true..haha), about how you can sleep in, how you talk to yourself and answer your self because you have no co-workers to chat with. For those of you who don’t know, I recently quit my full time day job to pursue my dream of being a full time photographer. As exciting as it sounds that I’m following my dream and ultimately getting paid to do what I love, it also comes with a lot of accountability and responsibilities.I mean, I *AM* my own boss and if my business fails it’s *MY* fault, I can’t share the blame with a co-worker or a supervisor….it’s my fault.

With that said, I recently made a decision that I know could ultimately create backlash for what I’ve decided….and honestly, I don’t care!  The really cool thing-(even among all the scary things of owning a business) is that you can make decisions without having to go through the hierarchy
of people. On a whim yesterday after seeing something that was so appalling, I decided I was going to email some of my clients to tell them “I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos”.

Let me explain. Last night I posted on facebook the following: “If I’m wrong, please speak up. I came across a page on facebook that was created (by someone under a ficticious name) thats purpose is to bully,  ridicule and say mean and hurtful things about their class mates. While visiting the page, I found several teenage girls that have scheduled sessions with me for their senior pictures. I am emailing them tomorrow to cancel their shoots. I do not want them to represent my business and I am beside myself at how MEAN and CRUEL they were on that page.” As I was drafting the email that I was going to send out to the clients my phone was blowing up with comments.
 

Now I realize it’s going to be hard to know that every person that ever contacts me isn’t a bully, I understand that…but in this specific instance it was right in front of my face. I saw it with my own eyes..it wasn’t hear say, it was right there..with their smiling face right beside such an ugly statement. I couldn’t forget about it, I mean how I could spend 2 hours with someone during our session trying to take beautiful photos of them knowing they could do such UGLY things. Realistically, I know by canceling their shoots it’s not going to make them “nicer people” but I refuse to let people like that represent my business.

This morning I sent out 4 emails to those clients while CC’ing in their parents explaining WHY I was canceling their shoots. I also included screen shots of the comments they made. They couldn’t deny it, I had the picture of what they said. I informed them that I’d be sending their deposits back and that they’d have to find another photographer. So far, I have received two emails back from their parents that claimed (I’m paraphrasing) they were shocked that this had happened. They apologized that their child acted in such a way and that they would deal with the matter. So far I haven’t received any backlash but I’m ready for it. I’m a small business owner and I have the luxury of making that decision. If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!

I’m not going to give a big speech that says how wrong or uncool it is…because let’s face it, you are seniors you should know better. I’m not trying to save the world of bullies or trying to start a movement. I simply don’t want to photograph ugly people!

STOMP Out Bullying applauds Jen and hopes that she won’t photograph parents of bullies who condone mean behavior and do nothing to teach their children about being nicer and kinder!

In the flurry of messages college students post on one another’s Facebook pages, social scientists see something larger at work: Time spent online may be helping people learn to be more empathetic and make more friends in real life.

A growing body of research indicates the widespread use of texting, emailing or posting on social-media sites has social benefits. The studies fly in the face of the image of a child sitting lonely in front of a computer, or being bullied online.

Several recent studies have found that digital communication can lead to more or better friendships online and off, greater honesty, faster intimacy in relationships and an increased sense of belonging, in addition to practical social benefits like an expanded circle for networking.

On the whole, technology appears to enhance real-world relationships, says Nancy Baym, a communication-studies professor at the University of Kansas in Lawrence. One reason: People use digital communication primarily to interact with people they are closest to offline, not with strangers. The communication tightens the bonds between them, Dr. Baym and her colleagues found in a study they published in the journal Information, Communication & Society in 2009.

Some studies show technology-driven communication may be particularly helpful for people who are shy or anxious in social settings. These researchers concentrated on the psychological impact of intensive social online communication, not the role it plays in mass gatherings.

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Sean Gallup/Getty ImagesChildren tried out networked computer laptops at a technology fair in Hannover, Germany, on March 1.

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In a study of New York University students who described themselves as either socially anxious or non-anxious, participants were randomly assigned to interact in groups of three, either in-person or through an Internet chat room. Anxious students reported greater shyness and discomfort than non-anxious students in face-to-face groups. In the chat room, however, they said they felt significantly less shy, more comfortable and better accepted by their peers.

In a follow-up study, researchers randomly assigned high- and low-anxiety students to groups of four to interact in an online chat room or face to face. Socially anxious participants were more likely to make decisions and lead the group when they were in the chat room than when face-to-face with others. Other group members said they found the anxious participants more likeable and extroverted when the interaction occurred online. In the face-to-face situation, the non-anxious participants were the ones seen as leaders.

Frequent communication online could serve as practice for in-person social interactions, says Larry Rosen, a psychology professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills.

Dr. Rosen and his team were especially curious about empathy, because it is so frequently communicated nonverbally via facial expressions and body language. The researchers informally scanned dozens of Facebook profiles, looking for comments that individuals posted and the responses to them that appeared to show understanding of the original posters’ feelings, such as supportive messages to a friend who said her mother was having surgery the next day.

These messages suggested that empathy could indeed be recognized and communicated through written, online communication. This inspired the researchers to investigate how this related to the expression of empathy in real life.

In a study presented earlier this month at the annual American Psychological Association conference in Washington, D.C., they asked 1,283 people aged 18 to 30 through a series of questionnaires how much time they spent online, and the degree to which they felt empathetic toward offline and online friends. For instance, participants were asked to rate on a five-point scale how well they could understand a friend’s happiness when the friend did something well. They were then asked the same questions regarding friends with whom a majority of their communication was done online through social networking or email.

Based on participants’ self-reports, the researchers found users expressed a significant amount of empathy online, and that the more time college students spent on Facebook, the more empathy they expressed online and in real life.

As with any novel research, these preliminary findings need to be repeated in future studies, particularly since self-reported data can be skewed if participants inaccurately recall or misreport their feelings.

Digital communication also appears to bolster individuals’ sense of community and group identity, says Nicole Ellison, a professor in telecommunications, information studies and media at Michigan State University in East Lansing. Students reporting low self esteem who actively used Facebook were more likely to say they felt a part of the Michigan State community than low self-esteem individuals who didn’t use Facebook as intensely, Ms. Ellison found in a study published in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication in 2007.

And some of the drawbacks of online communication may not be as widespread as feared, researchers are finding. While online bullying is a concern, in-person bullying remains far more prevalent.

In a survey of 3,777 teenagers, nearly 45% reported some bullying in the past year. But of those who said they were bullied, nearly 40% said it had occurred in person. Fewer than 20% said it had occurred—solely or in addition to other bullying methods—online, by phone or by text messaging, says Michele Ybarra, president of nonprofit research group Internet Solutions for Kids Inc., who ran the survey. And two-thirds of kids who say they are bullied online say they don’t find it upsetting, according to a new study by Dr. Ybarra that she expects will be published soon in the journal Pediatrics.

And young people are still far more likely to see sexual content or violence on television than online, she says.

By Shirley S. Wang at the Wall Street Joural

Before iCarly‘s Miranda Cosgrove got in a bus crash, she talked to Parade magazine. They talked about and honored teens who volunteer, which is close to her heart. But she also tackled the not so nice topic of bullies. She said that kids need to take action against it. Here is her quote regarding the topic of bullies.

“I want to get the message out that everybody can make a difference. There were days when the bullying really bothered me. What helped was hanging out with my friends and focusing on the good stuff” said Miranda

We love seeing Miranda get behind a good cause, but at the same time, it is a shame that we do not hear more about it. She appears to want to help make the change, but sadly, not enough people seem interested to hear about it. That is such a huge shame for her and her goals. However, we should be happy that Parade agreed to have her talk about it. At least someone was listening and that might help a few kids. So in the end it could be all worth it.


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