Another teen suicide has occurred because a young man was bullied.
On Thursday, Daniel’s life came to a tragic end when his sister discovered his body. Police later discovered a note where Daniel had written three haunting words: ‘I give up’.
Daniel’s heartbroken parents say Daniel gave up after years of being bullied at Holy Angels Catholic Academy in Bay Ridge. In fact, Daniel drafted a letter in July spelling out the unrelenting torture he says he received from classmates and teachers who didn’t listen to his cries for help.
To every kid who is being bullied … yes it’s incredibly painful. But that pain is NEVER worth taking your own life.
If Daniel hadn’t given up he would be celebrating his 14th birthday in two weeks. He would have gone to a new school and enjoyed a new football team. Now his dreams will never be realized.
For those who have taken their lives, we are so sorry that you were in such deep pain! And we send our condolences to your families who are in tragically deep pain.
It’s important for every kid to know that no matter how much pain you are in, no matter how long the bullying last, it doesn’t last forever.
I wish we could have spoken with Daniel and every other kid who has taken their life. Every one of them had dreams, hopes and bright futures.
As the founder of STOMP Out Bullying, I was bullied from first through sixth grades. I thought it would never end. But it did! I entered seventh grade being Ms. Popularity!
And look at some of the celebrities like Demi Lovato, Lance Bass, Sandra Bullock, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Tyra Banks, Kate Winslet, Robert Pattinson and yes – even the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. If they had taken their lives none of these celebrities would be here living wonderful lives and certainly Kate Middleton would not be the Duchess of Cambridge.
As bad as it seems today, we urge all kids and teens to understand that your future can be different, you can be whatever you want to be. You don’t know when things will change. So while you’re feeling really bad, reach out for help. Tomorrow can look so different!
No one deserves to be bullied for any reason. NO MATTER™ what you look like, your beliefs, your race, your sexual orientation or gender … no one has the right to bully you.
We are ALL the same, we are ALL people and we must honor our differences and respect and celebrate our similarities … NO MATTER™!
A great way for you to deal with your bullies is to empower yourselves. Learn to use comebacks because they do work. Role play with someone if you’re shy. But please empower yourselves.
If someone calls you names or makes fun of you, never ignore it. What you can do is look the bully straight in the eyes and say “Whatever” and then walk away without any conversation. Look at them and laugh at them and do the same thing – walk away. Eventually the bully will see that you just don’t care!
For those who are bullies, your behavior is wrong and unacceptable. If you think that you’re popular or funny, you’re not! In fact, your behavior can cause much trouble in your life. There are consequences for hurting others and certainly causing them to take their lives.
When you hurt others, you are ultimately hurting yourself and the people who love you.
Focus on being kind, not because we’re telling you to be kind, but because it’s the right thing to do. Kindness takes you to places you would never imagine — why? Because you’re focusing your energy on others in a positive way and it comes back tenfold! NO MATTER™
Suicide Is Never The Answer
Bullying and Cyberbullying can be difficult — especially when it’s happening to you. It hurts! Sometimes it’s the most painful thing that can ever happen. But it’s NEVER worth taking your life!
Suicide is NEVER the answer! It ends all of your dreams, it’s permanent — you can’t take it back, it hurts the people who love you — and it doesn’t solve the problem that’s hurting you!
Whatever is hurting you so bad that you would even think of suicide has a solution. And that’s NOT suicide.
You have choices and it’s all about the choices you make … for yourself or your decision to help a friend!
Are you hurting as a result of being bullied or cyberbullied?
Do you know someone who is hurting as a result of being bullied or cyberbullied?
Here are the Warning Signs for Suicide:
• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
• Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities – seemingly without thinking
• Feeling trapped – like there’s no way out
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
• Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes
• Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life
HOW TO HELP A SUICIDAL FRIEND:
Listen: People who are suicidal people think that they’re not understood. They think no one is listening and that no one takes them seriously.
Don’t be afraid to talk to them about suicide: If someone is feeling depressed, you’re not telling them to think about suicide. It’s actually safer to talk about it so you know what they’re thinking!
Accept your friend’s feelings: Take them seriously. Don’t try to cheer them up, don’t make jokes. DO get them help!
Ask your friend if they have a suicide plan: If they’ve thought their suicide plan out well, you know it’s time to get IMMEDIATE help for them.
Remove dangerous objects: Look for razors, sleeping pills, guns, knives, ropes that can be used for strangulation and remove them IMMEDIATELY.
Tell a trusted adult: This is not a secret you should ever keep – no matter how much your friend swears you to secrecy! Don’t make secrecy deals with anyone who is suicidal and tell a trusted adult IMMEDIATELY!
Support your friend: Let them know you’re concerned and urge them to stick it out a little longer – because things CAN change. Tell them that depressed feelings dochange over time.
Make them understand that suicide is final–it cannot be changed.
DO NOT leave a person whom you feel is at “High Risk” for suicide alone, not even for a minute
If a person has told you they have suicidal feelings, have a plan, and have a time set, ALWAYS take them seriously. A person who is “high risk” for suicide should not be left alone. Keep talking to that person, stay with them or arrange for another party (someone who that person trusts and feels comfortable with) to stay with them.
Develop a plan for help with the person. If you cannot develop a plan and a suicide attempt is imminent call “911.”
There is help!
Talk to a trusted adult!
Or contact any of these organizations who can and will help you!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
Yellow Ribbon 303-429-3530
Covenant House Nineline 1-800-999-9999
GLBT National Youth Talkline 1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-246-7743).
If you or someone you know is on the verge of suicide PLEASE call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or go to the nearest hospital emergency room IMMEDIATELY so you can get help!